you know the saying, “wolf in sheep’s clothing?”. its close cousin is “jackass in nice guy clothing”.
which seems to be the only type of guy that i attract. over and over again. and over again. i mean, really? are there so few actual decent guys out there? i know they exist…the majority of my friends are with good guys. so what’s the deal? is there like a waiting list that i need to be signed up on? because so far, i’m on the “date a jerk” list.
now, don’t get the wrong impression of me. i am of the “i don’t need a man to complete me, i’m a complete person on my own” philosophy. i don’t base my self-worth on my relationship (or lack there of) status. ok, ok, sometimes i do let it get me down a bit, i’m only human. for the most part, though, i don’t tie my relationship status to who i am as a person. but, like most people, i think it would be nice to find someone to share this thing we call Life with. i don’t want someone to support me, or “fix” me, or for me to “fix”. my ideal is to find an equal, a partner if you will. someone to laugh with, provide mutual support, and romance of course. is that so much to ask for? apparently it is.
and it always starts the same way…
1) hanging out, getting to know each other, having fun (nice guy phase)
2) he says stuff (totally unprompted by me) like “you’re so amazing”, “i’ve never met anyone else like you”, “you’re the coolest girl i know” (nice guy phase)
3) 5 seconds later it’s “you’re awesome, but i just have so much going on right now. i don’t have time to be in a relationship, but you’re really great.” or some other cliche (nice guy jacket comes off to reveal…)
4) then 10 seconds later, they are in a relationship…not with me, but with some other chick. so obviously #3 was just the usual bullshit brush off. (jackass!)
i’m so befuddled. i don’t think i’m clingy or needy or demanding. for the most part, i’d say i’m pretty laid back. i don’t want to spend 100% of my time with the guy, i have my own work and my own friends and family to hang out with. i really don’t get it. but seeing as this has happened not once, not twice, but 3 times i think it’s time to figure out what i am doing, or not doing, to cause this. or maybe i’m just not finding the quality guys (anyone have that ‘good guy’ sign up sheet? seriously?!?!)
oh well. screw you, douchebag-du-jour. i just had to vent a little bit because it is getting freaking ridiculous. and really really old. but i have a date on weds. keep your fingers crossed for me that he’s not a jackass…because if he is i might just have to turn into godzilla and carve a path of destruction through this town. and i don’t want to do that…i love okc. it’d be sad to turn all “May 5th (or 3rd as the pied piper informed me) tornado” on its ass. and think of all the lotion i’d have to use once i turned back into human form…godzilla has some pretty scaly skin. not to mention i don’t enjoy being all destructive and stuff. i prefer to be happy-go-lucky. yep.