Merry Merry Quite Contrary how does the story go?

THE FOLLIES OF A MEREDITH IN OKC


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EGG CARTON DINOSAUR

the other day, while on a walk with the wonderful Allison, she brought up an interesting question: what should she do for her Birthday Commitment.  hm.  Birthday Commitment?  i dunno what that is, but it sounds interesting.

each year, for her birthday, Allison finds something that she wants to do for herself.  be it a challenge, or learning something new, or doing something that she’s always wanted to do.

this sounds really interesting indeed.

so this got me to thinking…with July 27th just around the corner, what would i do for my Birthday Commitment?  what is something that i’ve wanted to do for myself that i’ve never made the time for?  after about 5 minutes of thinking, i knew the answer:

Hot Yoga.

i used to go a couple of times a week years & years ago.  and i loved it.  it was such a good workout, detox, & mental health break.  this would be perfect!  on soooo many levels!  i logged some time on the interwebs & found a place that does hot yoga…added bonus, it was right down the street from my house!  yes!  this is the PERFECT idea!!

my plan was to check the place out on my day off, and if i liked it then i would get one of the packages that they offer.  i borrowed a yoga mat  & hand towel.  and at 8am, i pealed myself out of bed & threw on some clothes to head up to the studio.  i pulled into the parking lot & surveyed my surroundings.

and i froze.  standing outside the door chatting were 3 girls.  i say girls, because they were clearly younger than me (and since when did i start noticing people’s age?)  they were tall.  they were slender.  they had awesome yoga outfits paired with elaborate bags specifically designed for their yoga mats.  they probably have been going to 5 classes a week for the past 3 years.

i looked down at myself.

i am short.  i am not slender.  my outfit was clearly not made specifically for yoga.  there wasn’t an “om” logo anywhere in sight and the material was far from organic.  i had an assortment of borrowed items.  and i haven’t taken a class in 7 years.  panic.  pure panic.

see? i don’t have a yoga bag…i have everything just thrown down on my passenger floorboard.

i whipped my car out of the parking lot.  what the hell was i thinking?  how could i pretend that i have enough gusto to just waltz into the great yoga unknown all by myself & find inner peace and a rewarding workout?  seriously?? 

i was instantly transported back to the 5th grade, when i started a new school.  i remember showing up to the 1st day of class in my knee-length, hand-me-down plaid skirt and my all-white sneakers, all excited to meet new people.  i walked into the hallway and there was a group of girls gathered together by the lockers.  they had doc martens.  their skirts were rolled up to show off the bottoms of their colorful boxer shorts.  while my mom said i looked “cute” before i went to school, their older sisters said that they looked “bitchin”.   i was mortified.  the second i got back from school i cried & begged my mom to take me shoe shopping.

compared to them, i looked like the egg carton dinosaur i made in 3rd grade art class. 

and here i was, almost 29 years old.  and i felt like an egg carton dinosaur next to these yoga goddesses.  ugh.

about halfway back to my house, once i got my heart rate to slow down & my face wasn’t quite the shade of a tomato, i realized: i am being so dumb.  who gives a crap about what i’m wearing or how skilled i am at yoga?  i’m going there to learn.  i’m going there to improve myself.  i’m going there to do something for me…and i have to start somewhere.  i couldn’t make this class (it had already started, & i couldn’t walk in late).  but there’s a class on sunday afternoon and i would be there.  motley yoga gear and all.

sunday i will ignore all of my dumb insecurities and remember that it’s not about having the coolest outfit or perfectly mastering the different poses.  i have to have a beginning point, even if it’s as an egg carton dinosaur doing Downward Facing Dog.

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SWEET KICKS

the only good thing about daylight savings time is that i still have an hour or so of daylight after work.  and one of my favoritest things to do (outside of chillin on the porch with good friends and a frosty salty dog, natch) is a leisurely walk/jog/run around the neighborhood.

part of it is the freedom of just letting my mind wander whilst listening to amaze jams.  i also like to look at the houses and pretend what they’d look like after i redecorated them.  yeah, i do that.  oh, and burning calories are rad.

sooooooo, today i am grateful for my sweet new kicks.  i finally spent more than $50 on crappy mom running shoes and bought a pair that are both comfortable and snazzy looking.  and, i’m convinced, make me much much faster than i used to be.

belize bikini body, here i come!!

so fast.

oh!  and i totally love that i got to hang out with one of my favoritest people in the whole wide world.  haven’t seen her lovely face in way too long.


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DO NOT OPEN THAT DOOR!

it’s been a while.  so why not start of with something random and slightly embarrassing?  i think it’s only fair, since i’ve been neglecting the dear ole blog.

 

here in a month, something really exciting is happenin at the Casa de Merry.  one of the coolest people i know is going to become my roommate.  he’s awesome, hilarious, and one of my bestest friends.

 

that’s not the embarrassing thing though.  that is the radness that is going to happen in august.

the state my spare bedroom (which will become his bedroom) is the embarrassing part.  uber embarrassing.  the uberest of embarrassment.  kids, it’s what i like to call my “hoarder room of doom”.  and normally, no one is allowed in there.  ever.  unless you’re loydikins or rhondie.  other than that, it’s off-limits.  when giving the “home tour”, if you attempt to open that door, i will fling myself towards it and say in a high-pitched squeaky voice “don’t open that door! “

don't go in there! oh the horror!!!!

yes.  it is that bad. 

there is clean laundry waiting to be folded.  piles of clothes that need to be laundered.  a closet crammed full of old clothes that i haven’t worn in years but somehow cannot bear to part with.  boxes of stuff that hasn’t yet found a home.  completed & partially completed costumes and projects.  there are random books.  random shoes.  random vacuum cleaners.  it is where i dump things when “oh shit, so-and-so is coming in 10 minutes…i gotta keep up the pretense that i have a organized-ish home…i’ll just put XYZ in here for now”.  and then that is where XYZ will live for the next 3 years.

*sigh*

 

kids, i wish i was exaggerating.  but sadly, i’m not.  this one room is just pure chaos.  not just the normal organized chaos of my life.  pure effing chaos.

in preparation for the Great Move-in (yes, it needs caps because it’s going to be GREAT!), i knew there was one main thing i needed to do.  i needed to clean. that. room.  eek!

 

but i’m weak.  i would want to keep everything.  and, honestly, the task was so massive that i needed help.  lots and lots of help.  and someone who is a tidy & organized individual that would give me the honest to goodness words of “you don’t need to keep that” and not let me BS my way into hanging on to it for another year or 10.

enter Allison.  she is all of the above, and super rad too.

see? she’s awesome

 

with her help, and the help of many a glad bag, i was able to whip both the closet AND the hoarder room of doom into shape.  what’s nicest about the lovely miss Allison is that she did not mock or gasp too much when i first opened the door that is never opened.  she did say something to the effect of “oh my”, but nothing like “holy bananas, are you effing kidding me?  you’re on your own freakazoid, i’m out” and run for the hills.  nope, she is an organizational trooper.  a warrior of sorting.  a princess of de-clutter.

 

really, the best part of everything (other than hanging out with Allison, of course) was digging through drawers long forgotten and finding some shirt loooong forgotten.  i found a belt that i’ve been trying to find for  years.  and a few dresses i thought had gone to the great closet in the sky.  but bestest of all, there were some really awesome fashion statements i was making circa 1999.  and yes, i still had outfits from the 90’s.  in fact, a several freaking drawers full of some seriously baaaaaaad outfits from the 90’s…some of them looked very much like this…

whateeeeever...you know you loved these outfits

 but you’d be very proud of me.  i did let go & put them in the “goodwill” pile, because let’s be honest, no resell shop worth their salt was going to accept a backless pale pink crop top made of terry-cloth.  i set very strict rules for what i was allowed to keep & what would either be donated or resold.  for instance, if i haven’t worn it in over a year & 1/2, then it was doneski.  i only had to be scolded a few times for clutching a shirt and muttering some comment like “buuuut, i wore this to my first day of college and it was such an amazing day with rainbows and majestic unicorns frolicking in the UMC.  i can’t possibly give it away!!”

 

cut to 12 hours, 8 bags of trash, 8 bags of goodwill, and 5 bags clothes to resell later.  my closet is beautiful.  shoes are organized & have their own little home.  all of my clothes are grouped together by article AND color.  it is truly a sight to behold.  it is beautiful.  radiant.  glorious.

seriously fantastic

and the hoarder room of doom?  who knew there was really a floor in there?  well, there is.  and it is now visible.

ok, so other than the rando vacuum cleaner that needs to go and the furniture that needs to go to storage, this room is ready to rock n roll!

all i have left to do in preparation for my new roomie is to clean out the garage.

 

but that is a story (and a chore) for another day.  it is effin hot here in oklahoma & i have a pre-4th of july beer pong palooza party to get to.  keep your fingers crossed that KK & I win the tournament (like the champions we are) and have a happy 4th of july kiddos.


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RUN, MERRY, RUN!

update tiiiiiiiiime!  yay!

are you soooooo excited?  do you loooooooove dragging out your vowels like i do?  you better believe it.

let’s just dive right into it, shall we?

good news, i’m still doing well on the “soda water, extra lime, hold the booze please” part of my new middle name…ish.  in fact, i made it 3 week…ish.

now, i was hoping to make it a whole month.  but i did have to take just a quick jump off ye ole wagon.  at first i was kinda bummed.  but then i analyzed the situation & determined it was worthy of said jump. 

i mean, i had a 1st date people.  how am i not going to have a beer to calm the nerves of a first date?!  if i hadn’t, then i woulda been even more of a rambling nervous wreck with an attack of the blushing tomato than i already am.  and that does not make a good 1st impression.  not one bit.

and then there was champagne sunday.  which, admittedly, i did dust off the party tiara for a bit.  but it was worth it…how’re you going to say no to champagne sunday??  it’s so classy!  and it’s sunday!  the day that most people refer to as “sunday FUNday”!  it just had to happen.  i’d already passed on 3 sunday fundays.  if i missed one more, my sunday funday spirit might have suffered.  and i can’t have that happening.

but i’m kinda back on the wagon. 

i've decided not to drive it, ole santa is doin a pretty good job. but maybe i'll sit 2nd row.

 i’m going to allow myself a bevie every once in a while.  but, surprisingly, not drinking is not as difficult as i thought it would be.  so i’m going to try and be good and not drink about 85% of the time.  i think that’s realistic.

i mean, really…it’s been pretty easy indeed.  my friends have been super amazingly supportive (of course, they are my friends after all), and i even got a CouldntBee to join the ranks.  i thought that being among drinkers would be hard…that i’d be grumpy pants and a bitter critter all wrapped up in a sober shell.  luckily, this has not been the case…i get a little loopy & have a faux alchy buzz.  which is nice.  although, i will admit that i cannot hang until 1am.  by 11pm, i’m ready to head home and crawl into bed with a good book.  really, though, i owe a lot of credit to my one true booze-free love.  topo chico…

seriously...i love this drink

i love it so much, that i need to write a love letter to it real quick…

dear topo chico,

i cannot begin to express my love for you.  you have been there through many a dinner party…faithfully staying in my hand and warding off the temptation of that makers on the rocks.  you are sparkling and have a really neat bottle that makes me forget you are not a newcastle.  you are just truly delightful.

love always,

merry

ok ok, so that was a really shitty love letter.  i’ve never written one, so pump yo’ breaks before you criticize.  plus, it’s a bottle of mineral water…it can’t read.  so there!

but yes, i’ve been rockin it in the non drinking department.  for the most part, that is.

now on to the super fun & exciting portion of today’s blog…the part where i talk about my adventures as a fledgling runner. 

*sigh*

i’m really loving it.  i’ve been doing the couch to 5K thing.  and the weather, with the exception of this dreary week,  has been so effing delightful lately that i just can’t wait to get home from work, lace up my running kicks, and hit the street.  i found a nice, cheap, digital watch w/ stop watch feature.  and i invested in a lime green ipod shuffle (my old clunker of an ipod just ain’t good for the run…but it still works so i can’t fully retire it).  so come 7pm, i’m a runnin fool.  ok, ok…more like a walk/jog fool.  but hey, i gotta start somewhere! 

at first, i thought that i would die.  i’m old.  i’m out of shape.  and i’m trying to run.  all of that does not sound like it should go together. 

hey, if this guy can run...then so can i!

but, you know what?  it’s not all that bad.  and i’m not all that horrible at it. 

now if only the sun would come out again…because running in the cold sucks.  and i don’t want to go to the gym & run on a treadmill.  that is not nearly as delightful as running outside. no sirree…not one bit.


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REDUSE, REUSE, RE-MEREDITH

ok kiddos, so it’s that time again.  that time where i say “hey, i’m going to be a healthier version of me”.  and then i talk about what i want to do and how i plan on being better.  hopefully, for all of you kids out there that are in a similar boat this is helpful.  for those of you that aren’t or that have no interest in this sort of blog post, suck it.  haha, kidding.  sort of.

 

so when you think about what all goes into being “a healthier version” there are a few key things one thinks about…food, physical activity, and general lifestyle. 

 

first up…food…

for the most part, i’ve been really good about this.  i’d say about 75% of the time i’ve been eating yummy, healthy good-for-me food.  in the past few months, i’ve drastically decreased my fast food intake.  and i’m slowly giving up my love affair with potatoes.  main problem for me is that when i cave, i cave big time.  so moderation, thou art a bitch.  so now i’m steppin up my game.  potatoes, it’s officially over.  doneski.  you don’t love me as much as i love you, and that ain’t cool.  i’m dating a new type of potato…his name is sweet potato.  and it’s really nothin serious, just a few dates every once in a while.  so booyah.  oh yeah, and when i do decide to kick it with a “bad for me” meal, “moderation” is my new middle name.

 

 

secondly…physical activity…

no more excuses.  i’m done with them.  they are dead to me. 

secretly, i want to be a runner & a cyclist.  like, in a big bad way.  i have no idea.  and i’m definitely not a runner.  at all.  except in my dreams.  but let’s face it, people who run look cool.  and they talk about this “zen” that they get from running.  and i want to be one of those people.  i want to look cool & be in a zen state while looking cool. 

see? doesn't that rando person look cool??

added bonus, working out is good for me.  and i am most def on the official hunt for an older men’s 10 speed…for when i wanna bike in a zippy, non leisurely manner.  but really, i just want to get off my ass & do something.  walk, run, jog, bike, disc golf, gym, whatevs.  so “getting off my ass and being active” is my new middle name.

 

 

lastly…general lifestyle….

get ready for this.  it’s kinda big.  i’m taking a zack morris time out from drinking.  yowza.  i don’t know for how long.  just for a while.  i don’t need those extra calories, i don’t need to drink to enjoy the company of my friends, and i don’t ever ever ever want to be a sad, schwastey pants almost 30 yr old.  i don’t plan to be a totes teetotaler forever, just for a bit.  cuz let’s face it, i’ve been a bit of a partier for a minute.  not on the alcoholic level, trust.  but my party tiara has seen quite a few parties.  so…for a while, my new middle name is “soda water, extra lime, hold the booze please”.

 

 

 

how do ya like that?  my new official name is Meredith Moderation Getting Off My Ass And Being Active Soda Water, Extra Lime, Hold the Booze Please Contrary. 

if you can say that whole name fast 5 times, then you deserve this high five

 

so, i will be updating you with this every so once in a while.  i plan on rocking it.

 

ok, ok, ok…so while all fo the above is 100% true, and a big part of the reason why i’m starting this, i must admit something.  i tried to sneak past this reason, but, well, you lovely readers have been with me for a little over a year and i just can’t lie to you.  so here was the real motivator for starting all of this.  are you ready?

*sigh* i want these real bad

BAM!  yes, i really really really want to rock these overalls this summer.  i know, it’s a little “tooooooralooooratooooralooooralie! c’mon eileen!” but i don’t give a flying fuck.  i want to rock overalls all effin summer long.  only problem is, if you do the math… fat bank + overalls = faux FUPA.  and while i can rock a fat bank like no one’s business, i absolutely REFUSE to rock a FUPA.  especially if it’s not a real one, just an illusion.  so yes, the main inspiration is materialistic.  but hey, all of the other reasons and benefits are good ones. 

and the main point is that i’m going to do something about it.  so there you go.