good news, kiddos, mr bix and i survived the Armageddon pt 2: Ice storm of doom!!!
on friday, i made a valliant attempt to actually drive my car home. no dice. the g35 is simply not built for anything beyond looking awesome and dry, clear roads. i have devised a simple formula that clearly shows this:
(low profile tires+low sitting body+rear-wheal drive) + (ice+snow+hills+stopping)= meredith is shit out of luck
but i really thought i might be able to make it at least home. i even tried. and then kenny (my car) got stuck 5 inches out of the parking lot. Brimsy! Pegasaurus! HELP!!! Brimsy tried to maneuver my car into the next parking lot. no luck. stuck. so the pegasaurus & i, with the aid of 4 strangers walking by, pushed that mo fo into the parking lot. success!
thank goodness for Brimsy and his big-ass suburban. he kindly gave everyone a lift home. and for me, he had to drive me 2 places. first, my house. where i immediately realized i had no way to get in. i, of course, forgot my stupid garage door opener. “no problem, i’ll just use my door key”. oh. wait. i am the only person who doesn’t have a key to my house. 7 other people have a key, but not me. really smart of me, that’s just how i roll. fortunately Brimsy is a saint and drove me to KK’s house. and luckily KK loves me and is willing to provide me with food & shelter.
but back really quickly to the drive home. it was brimsy and i’s 2nd snowy/icy drive home from hell. the first was during the snow storm of ’09. this time we had baby duck and pegasaurus with us. and it was hilariously fun. a few quotes from the trip that were the best:
“i can see el chico from my house”
“can we stop at a 7-11 near a blockbuster?”, “oh, sure, i’ll get right on that. but if it’s for a $1 late fee i’m going to be pissed”
“oh, thank god the bbq place is open! that’s really what we need right now”
“dammit gimpy! not again!” (to the windshield wiper)
the quotes may not be exact, but i wrote the general idea of them. which is: my team rocks & is hilarious. guess you had to be there.
ok, so back to arriving at KKs. it was a relaxing 2 days. it was a blast for me, but not really great blogging material. only major victory was finally getting the booger that was clinging to the upper right nostril. you know, when you get that one that is really annoying but you can’t get to it? and even blowing your nose won’t get it to budge? yesterday i finally got that bastard, and it was fantastic. i named it Walter. other than that, it was all hanging out, watching tv and movies (whip it! was ok…i was expecting a little more), wine and manhattans, and the most awesome game of apples to apples (damn you KK for beating me twice!!! next time you better watch it lil lady!). lots and lots of playing with CohCoh, who is 1 of the 2 kids i absolutely adore (RikitikiCambo is my other favorite). the best is when CohCoh yells at the top of his lungs “MEREMERE!” and then i yell back “COHCOH” and then he goes “WHAT?!” and i say “LOVE YOU”. then he smiles and in his precious little 2 yr old voice says “love you”. it melts my heart. makes me want to run out and buy him a pony or something.
today is just another sunday. hopefully i can free my car and make it safely home. KK’s been very kind to let mr bix & i stay at her house for 3 days, but if i had to stay there again i think she just might shoot me. and then make a hat out of mr bix. or some mittens. the main roads are just fine, it’s the side roads i’m worried about. and my condo area. those fuckers never do crap, which is ridiculous since their HOA fees cause me to hemorrhage money each month. i mean, seriously?! how much is a bag of sand or salt? not much. and considering i pay them a crap ton each month, i think they could eek it into the budget.
no, must have happy thoughts…i need all the good karma i can get to have a safe drive home.
as for a winner, there’s not a really clear-cut one.
‘010: ice storm, car stuck, relying on the generosity of others, losing apples to apples by 1 card
me: awesome friends willing to drive me around & crash on their futon, good food, relaxation time, evicting walter from his nasal cavity home
i think it’s a draw this time.