Merry Merry Quite Contrary how does the story go?

THE FOLLIES OF A MEREDITH IN OKC


Leave a comment

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

oh how i love a good  challenge.

i’m really quite awesome at coming up with an idea, one that seems to be easy but then turns into something very very difficult.  and me, i’m not so great at compromising.  i can’t just say: “well, i don’t think this is going to turn out exactly the way i want it to…maybe i’ll just alter it a little because this will work just fine”.  oh no, not me.  instead i shake my fist and yell “challenge?!?!  you dare to defy me?!  i WILL find [fill in the blank] and it will be RAD!!!  just you wait!!”

watch out buddy!

currently, i have several challenges going on.  and i will win.  oh yes, i will totally win.  even if it takes me all year.  but it won’t.  because both of them have due dates.  so i must complete them in a timely fashion.

CHALLENGE NUMERO UNO:  finding a love-seat.

i am desperately seeking a love seat.  not for my house, for a photo shoot that i want to do.  and i don’t want just any couch.  i have a specific style that i’m thinking of.  one that has a vintage vibe, but with sleek lines.  one with a cool pattern, but isn’t overbearing and too loud.  i want it to be big enough that it isn’t too dainty, but small enough that it’s easily portable.

a little something like this...only maybe in a more muted green

oh, and i want to pay less than $100 for it.

 

see?  doesn’t that sound like it would be super easy to find??

ok, so maybe not that easy…it is incredibly specific.  i’ll admit that.  but you’d think someone out there would have one just waiting for a meredith to purchase an awesome, vintage-vibe couch with clean lines and an interesting but not overpowering pattern for under $100!  so far craigslist is only offering up frumpy, beat up nasty couches and the antique stores are only dealing in over priced ugly (and not in a cool way) sofas.

 

but i haven’t given up yet.  i will find the love seat of my dreams.  and all will be well in the world.

 

 

CHALLENGE NUMBER 2:  project “hats”

oh, project “hats”.  you make my heart sing.  and are also the biggest thorn in my holiday side.

 

i’m doing this photo project, which will be AMAZING when it is completed.  it involves some of my grandmother & grandfather’s vintage hats.  and it involves my family members wearing said hats.  and it involves me photographing said family members wearing said hats.

and i have 2 of the pieces available…the hats and the photographer (me).  only problem is hunting down my family members.

 

they are all totally all about helping.  and posing for the pictures (don’t want you to think they’re being meanie pants, because they definitely are not meanie pants.  my family is awesome pants).  however, we all have crazy hectic schedules.  and trying to align them has been as difficult as trying to align the stars with my bare hands (i did this once in ’72…i’ll do it again in ‘010!…ok, so i didn’t really.  but only because i didn’t exist in ’72.  but if i was alive, i totes would have.)

 

for this challenge, i have exactly 10 days.  10 days to find Lil M, Ashmatash, Coop, Hayden, and my uncle.  can i do this?  you better believe it!  i will totes camp out on their doorstep until they come home. 

maybe i'll buy this to help while i camp out..it's a tent AND a rain coat! GENIUS!!

 

so i’m ready for the challenges.  i think i can totally win.  i am dedicated, persistent, and willing to be obnoxious in my pursuit of sofa & pics.

 

but if you hear of a cool sofa, lemme know.  and if you run into one of my family members, let them know that they need to come home soon…i’m camped out on their doorstep & it’s starting to get very cold & mr bix misses me (and i miss him).  unfortunately, there’s no rain so my tent/rain coat is just kind of pointless.

Advertisements


Leave a comment

DATE NIGHT

yep, that’s right everyone…i had a date last night. 

 

 

he was funny, he was polite (knows how to say please and thank you), super cute, he shared well, was a great dancer, has the best laugh, is a snazzy dresser, and (best of all!) he slept through the night!

 

umm…wait a minute…did i mention that it was a “date” with Cohcoh?  one of my favoritest 3 yr olds in the whole wide world and pretend nephew extraordinaire? 

 

hangin out in the kitchen, wearing a fancy hat...because Cohcoh is fancy like that!

did you really think i had a hot date?  c’mon now, you know better than that! 

 

although, it was a fantastic date.  and i loved the chance to just kick it, me & cohcoh style.  we had a delish dinner at the olive garden, where he played with his “men” and did puzzles (which he is a master at the puzzles…such a smart guy!).  then it was movie time, Happy Feet…which turned into us having a happy feet dance party.  after the movie, we had to get some reading time in there.  i can’t just let the kid watch movies & eat ice cream trucks (ice cream in cohcoh speak) all night!  so we read a few books(where the wild things are, goodnight moon, and barnyard dance), and then read them each a few more times for good measure.  Finally that little guy just had too much partying and fell asleep.  he only woke up once, kinda grumbled that he wanted his mom.  to which i replied “we’ll see her in the morning, go back to sleep buddy”.  and he did.  which was awesome because i totes didn’t think that would work.

 

this morning i woke up to him patting my cheek saying “meremere!  wake up!  bix licked me in the face!  watch penguin movie?”

 

so, yup… a perfect evening with one of my favoritest people in the world.  and we didn’t accidentally burn the house down, no broken bones or blood, no tears of any sort.  just 100% awesomeness.  which is just the way i like it!


4 Comments

OH GRAVITY

apparently gravity has it out for me today.

 

last night, my bedside chandelier came crashing down.  it scared the crap outta Mr Bix, which of course made me wake up in fright…arms a flailin and my heart racing.  is there a burglar?  is there a ghost?  what is it, Mr Bix?  did timmy fall into a whale?

nope, just my chandelier.  RIP, 7 little glass teardrops and a quarter-sized chunk of the ceiling.

 

then, while i was taking a shower this morning, my shower curtain came crashing down.  Mr Bix wasn’t so scared this time, he was still fast asleep in the bed.  but I was startled…once again the arms were a flailin and water was a splashin while i tried to put the shower curtain back into place.

 

THEN, while i was walking down the stairs, i somehow slip and I came crashing down.  well, more like i slid my way down the stairs.  luckily, i’m totally fine.  i’m always worried that one time (yes, i’ve slid down the stairs multiple times), i’m going to break my leg or something.  fingers crossed this never happens.

 do did someone turn up gravity today? is it no longer 9.81 m/s²?  why do i never get these memos?

me, on a more regular basis than i care to admit


Leave a comment

THE EARLY BIRD GETS TO WORKOUT

yes, my friends, it’s that time again.  the time where i assess the fat bank and determine what it is i’ve done well, and what it is i haven’t done so well.
 

let’s start with the good part first…

ladies and gentleman, i will have you know that i’ve been eating at home 90% of the time since i braved the grocery store.  it’s totally true.  i’m not lyin at all.  i’ve been good about drinking a breakfast shake of some sorts, bringing a lunch to work, and eating dinner at home (hey, it counts if it’s at KKs house too).  aren’t you so proud of me?  i feel like an almost grown up!

and “fast food” restaurants?  a thing of the past!  i’ve only been to one…it was chick-fil-a and i got a salad, so that’s not very bad at all. 

finally, i have been coca-cola classic free for 13 days.  a big improvement over the 2-a-day habit i had to kick.  seriously.  it was that bad!  instead, it’s unsweet iced tea (i like it straight up, no sugar or sugar-like substance in my tea…i’m intense like that), la croixs, and good ole fashioned H20. 

not gonna lie, looking at all that makes me very happy.  i feel very accomplished.

i definitely think i deserve one of these.

so….the not so good part.

working out…say what?

  

so, i have 2 gym memberships.  seriously.  i do…hey, one’s only $25 a month and the other is like $30, so it’s kinda like 2 for the price of 1 fancy pants gym..right?

after much discussion and debate with Ldawg about why i just can’t seem to get my ass to the gym, i think i have found the reason.  i don’t have enough willpower…specifically to go to the gym instead of hanging out with friends after work.  i can’t help it!  i’m just a social person!  and if given the option to hang out and play cards vs. sweating my ass off on the treadmill and potentially falling off, i will choose my friends.  hands down.  is it even a question?  the treadmill scares me!  and rightly so, i am very accident prone.

not gonna lie, i'm genuinely scared this'll be me one day

but i have a plan.  oh yes sirree i have a plan.  to avoid having to make the decision between working out and chillaxin with my friends, i’m goin to work out BEFORE i go to work.  see, if i wake up at 7:30 i can get to the gym that’s right down the street from work by 8.  then cardio, pump some iron for an hour or so.  get my shower on.  then head to work.  sounds like a pretty good plan, huh?  the only forseeable issue is that i hate mornings.  but 7:30 isn’t that early…i guess.  and who knows, maybe i’ll get super ripped and join the American Gladiators.  but i wanna be like the old school ones, not the new version.  i’ll get some super rad name like “Blaze”.  oh, wait, there was a Blaze.  whatever, i’ll take over her name.

and i DEF need those socks and shoes, not to mention the killer outfit and bleached out hair

ok, odds are i won’t look like that.  but ya never know…i just might.

 

 

oh, and i created a blog for my photos that i be snappin.  figured it’d be a better way for people i don’t know to see my work than on this blog.  check it out if ya wanna… http://meredithblackphotoblog.wordpress.com


Leave a comment

NOT THE G-G-G-GROCERY STORE!

not-so-old merry contrary

went to the pantry,

to give Mr Bix a bone.

when she got there,

the pantry was bare,

as well as the freezer, fridge, and every other food storage place in this condo!

 

dude.  seriously.  zero food.  here, i’ll show you an actual picture of my fridge….

 

 

 

eek.  seriously meredith?  beer, carlo rossi (which i do not claim, it’s leftover from my mom), and condiments with a very sad little box of cereal.  this looks like a fridge that belongs to a 21 yr old college guy.  not the fridge of a hip, got-my-act-together, aren’t-i-such-a-grownup lady that i’m trying to be.

 

when i was on that oh so fabulous vacation (i promise i’ll stop talking about it here soon…just give me a few more days), we made these yummy homemade dinners.  ok, so i didn’t make the dinners at all.  but KK and Gordy did and they were delish.  it was good, healthy food paired with constant outdoor activity.  after a week of that routine, i could tell that my body was like “yay!  yippee!  huzzah!!”

 

and then i came back from vaca-land.  and i promptly returned to my dining out habits.  greasy pizza, french fries, and all that horrible crap that just makes you feel disgusting 5 minutes after eating it. 

 

but then i went on a bike ride last night on my beloved bicycle, Emmaline Jelly Bean.

 

and as i was coasting down this awesome hill, i made a decision.

 

i am going to go to the grocery store.  i am going to buy yummy food.  i will bring said yummy food to work instead of swingin through the drive-thru.  and while i know that i’m still going to dine out, it’s not going to be every day. 

and guess what?  i actually made it to the grocery store.  it wasn’t too crowded, i didn’t stress out about having to criss-cross my way like i normally do, and the biggest miracle of all…i didn’t have to wait in line!

 

it was a good day at the grocery store.  and after emptying out a billion and one grocery bags, this was my reward…

cue up the heavenly choir! is that a sunbeam i see illuminating the fridge?

wowza!  there’s still beers and carlo rossi and condiments, but now there’s delish greek yogurt and milk and kashi bars and la croix next to it!  oh, and i didn’t forget the freezer section

of course it’s full of microwave meals…it’s not like i’m going to become a full on chef over night!  ha.

 

yep.  i went to the grocery store.  it wasn’t horrible.  and now i have yummy food of my very own.  not too bad for a thursday afternoon.

 

Mr Bix was so shocked by all of this.  he just sat and watched me with this confused look on his face.  don’t worry Mr Bix, i’m still your mom that hates going to the grocery store…ok, maybe now i just extremely dislike it.  oh!  and i’m super excited about the coconut popsicles i got.  i love them as much as Gordy likes Bomb Pops popsicles.  don’t tell anyone, but i’ve already had 3.

hhhmmmmmmm?


2 Comments

HIGHWAY TO THE VACATION ZONE

as i walked through the firey gates of hell, aka my condo’s sliding glass door, all i could think of is “dear BOB, get me outta oklahoma”.

ugh, firey air is all that exists in the condo

yes, my a/c is STILL out.  and, i guess my a/c didn’t get the memo, oklahoma during august is not a place you want to be unless the temperature is altered by a machine that blows cool air.  my condo didn’t get this memo.  in fact, it so didn’t get the memo that i’ve been without a/c for 6 of the hottest days this summer.  it’s sweltering.  it’s hotter than hell.  i break a sweat just breathing.  and it’s not fixed.  even after a phone call to the people who were supposed to “fix” it ON MONDAY.



and on sunday, i am escaping this place.  yep, i’m peacin the fuck out of oklahoma.  oklahoma, i love you, but i’ve gotta go.  i need a break or, so help me BOB, i’d have to end our beautiful 3 year love affair.  i’m packin up the jeep (beep, beep), pickin up KK and Gordy and the always handsome Cohcoh, and headin out of town.


where?  to minnesota, specifically KK’s lake house on Pelican Lake.


i cannot wait.


i am going to turn off the work email (i love you guys, i really do…but don’t call unless the place is on fire).  i’m going to turn off the alarm clock (see you next week, 8am!).  i am going to swim, do yoga, take pictures, hug minnesotans, play cards with my girls.  most of all, i’m going to do whatever i want, on a time schedule that is made up by the minute.

i'm off to see minnesota! the wonderful minnesota of oz!

but here’s the part that sucks…i’m not free to do this for another 2 days.  it’s a short amount of time, i know.  but i have a billion things to wrap up at work.  and a billion things to do at my house, if it ever becomes bearable to stay there for more than 2 minutes.  and although the days seem to eek by, the task list seems to get longer and longer and longer.

and my mind has started to check out.


to dreams of a place where the temperature highs are in the 80s and at night it gets down to the 60s.  to a place where the biggest decision i have to make is what card game we’re going to play that evening on the deck while i drink wine.


only thing that minnesota will be lacking is my Mr Bix (who’s surgery went well and now he has a b’dass scar.   we’re going to say he got it from a fight with a bulldog who called him ‘short stack’.  stupid bulldog, don’t you know that Mr Bix is trained in 20 different types of martial arts and knows russian?)

he's got boatloads of street cred

maybe next year he can join us.


Leave a comment

HOT HOT HEAT

i’m talkin about the inside of my condo, not the band.  although the band is quite fantastic and i would much rather be talking about them than one of the many bizarre occurences in my life. 

i was really really really hoping that turning 27 would break this damn curse of ‘010.  i crossed my fingers, wished on a star, made a wish on a eyelash (after it fell off, i didn’t go to the extreme of pulling it from my eye), picked up a lucky penny (heads-side up), and did as many other good luck things that i could think of. 

guess what? 

didn’t work.  here’s the 3 newest rando unfortunate events in my life. 

   

the first: my air conditioner.  or lack thereof. 

so last thursday i got a notice from my HOA that “your air-conditioning unit has been approved to be replaced on Aug 2nd”. 

hmmm, that’s funny.  my a/c is working just fine.  and has been for, oh, 3 years now.  but the HOA wants to replace it?  eff yeah, go for it old dudes.  anything to make up for the bank account draining HOA Dues is a-ok with me! 

friday morning, i woke up around 8 to let bix out and call the vet (more on that later).  it was a little toastier in the ole condo than normal.  not gonna lie, i was a little sweaty.  after conversating with the vet,  i went back to sleep (hey, i didn’t have to work).  woke up around 11:30am.  in a puddle of my sweat.  what the crap is going on here?! 

yep. kinda looked like this cartoon dude. only as a lady. and a real person.

 

oh yeah.   they’re going to replace my a/c unit.  on monday…i tried one last effort to spend the night there on friday night, but it was miserable.  absolutely miserable.  so we’ve been camped out at the mom’s house.  thank god she’s cool and let us take over the guest room.  although it is sorta weird living at her house.  i’m not used to letting someone know where i’m going and when i’ll be back.  normally i just give mr bix a pat on the head and say “love you buddy, see you soon.  bark real loud if a stranger comes in and don’t pee anywhere”.  can’t really do that to mom…she’d not be too happy with me implying that she might pee somewhere other than the toilet.  and i don’t really need to worry about carrying out my normal routine, she’s not crazy strict like that.  but i instantly feel like a teenager and that it’s the nice thing to do.  

i’ve checked on the condo twice to retrieve articles of clothing that i need.  lemme tell ya, it is one hot bitch up in there.  downstairs is the same temp outside (which, if you don’t live in Oklahoma…the range is 90-100 degrees lately).  the upstairs is a good 15-20 degrees hotter (so that’s 100-120°).  i literally burst into sweat just climbing the stairs.  

   

2nd event: getting my license renewed. 

there wasn’t a line at the Tag Agency.  i shoulda known that this meant trouble. 

the guy took my picture, i looked at it…not too shabby for a driver’s license ID.  i was pleased.  

then he comes back and says “well, your photo isn’t matching up with your last one.  i have to call someone and get it approved”.  

well, no shit sherlock.  in my old pic, i’m 3 years younger, have a blonde bob haircut, and am probably a good 20 lbs lighter.  of course it’s going to be different.  but that’s why you have my finger prints which i just scanned for you.  i can’t fake those.  i mean, i’m sure i could but that would be WAY too much effort and i have no reason to.  

20 minutes later, they’ve verified that, yes, i’m still me.  but i have to take another pic.  great.  i’m frustrated now.  the guy gives me no warning and snaps the picture.  did it look good like the other pic?  hell no.  i look drunk and mad.  and since i wasn’t drunk, that is not a good thing.  stuck with that one for another 4 years.  swell. 

   

3rd event: mr bix has to have surgery 

thursday night, mr bix and i were going through our nightly routine.  i was reading my current book (girl with the dragon tattoo, highly recommend it), mr bix was cuddled up next to me.  i was giving him a back scratch and i noticed his left ear looked funny.  i sat up and examined his ear.  

it is swollen.  like really badly swollen. 

oh crap.  oh crap. OH CRAP.  what is wrong with my buddy?  why is my puppenstein’s ear so swollen?  he wasn’t acting sick! 

my heart drops and i feel like the worst mom ever. 

in a panic, i call the 24 hr emergency vet.  describe the problem to the guy on the phone in the midst of tears.  he assures me that it’s not an emergency, that he’s not going to die, and that the bubble of fluid on his ear will not burst and cause him to bleed out while i hold him and cry.  he has a hematoma…which i guess is kinda common, especially when your dog has bat ears (and chronic ear infections) like mine.  so i’m not a completely horrible mom, just a sorta crummy one for not taking him to get his current ear infection checked out earlier. 

the bummer of it is, he has to have surgery tomorrow.  awe, my poor mr bixby has to go under so they can drain his ear.  i feel for him.   

poor lil guy, gonna get those bat ears fixed tomorrow...

on the plus side, he hasn’t been acting like he’s in pain.  instead, he and chazzy have been acting like kids at a slumber party…running around, getting into trouble and driving me and mom crazy.  so that’s good, at least he’s not in super pain…that would break my heart. 

   

am i still a disaster magnet?  yep.  still a disaster magnet.  but at this point, i pretty much expect it…so at least now i’m not caught off guard. 

   

on the plus side, vacation in 5 days!! 

let the count down begin… 

doo doo doooo doo, doo doo doot doo doooooo...the vacation countdown!