SLEEPLESS IN OKC

 

this is not a story about me listening to a dreamy & young Tom Hanks pouring his heart out on a radio show and us falling in love to live happily ever after.

nope, not a story like that.

 

this is a story about how the stupid dramatic weather changes give me a mild case of insomnia.

soooo much more fun.

it normally happens when the seasons change.  i’ll go through a period of about a week where i can’t sleep.  but with the crazy-pants snow storm that just happened, i’ve been enjoying this seasonal side-effect for the past few nights.  it’s great, lemme tell you.  i go to bed…i’m exhausted…but my mind won’t. turn. off.  i lie awake in bed, tossing and turning, thinking of the most random things.  and finally, at around 4am, i’ll fall asleep.  only to wake up 4 hours later to my shrieking alarm. 

ack.

 

now, i know what you’re thinking… “meredith, why don’t you just take something like a tylenol pm?”

well, i would.  if it didn’t give me horrible nightmares.  and the sleepytime medicine in it won’t let me wake up.  so i’m stuck in nightmare-ville until it wears off.  which is possibly the worst feeling in the world…where you’re in the dream and you know you want to wake up but you can’t.  ugh, just thinking about that gives me shivers.

i’ve tried drinking warm tea.  i’ve tried relaxation techniques like imagining that my muscles are melting into the bed one by one.  i don’t watch tv in bed.  i write down the lists as they pop into my mind to try to clear it. 

nothing ever works.

 

plus, do i really want a list of what i’m thinking about?  i wish i could say that it’s all super smart, complex issues that i’m thinking about…like how to solve world hunger or how to stop pollution.  but i won’t lie to you like that.  heck, i guess i’ll share last night’s list with you.

 

last nights “list” (if i would’ve made one)

1) if mr bix was a chef, i wonder what cuisine would be his favorite to make

daaaaah-ling, my specialty is unique and tasty sandwiches...they ain't yo mama's turkey sandwich

2) how can i help increase my store’s traffic (see, this one is a smart one)

hey, all of you people, come buy stuff at my store!!

3) what would a cat look like wearing mittens

wow...a lot creepier than i thought.

4) i really want a dainty, floral dress for the spring and pair it with scuffed up combat boots

perhaps i'll even go to a tea party

and

why do i not own these? (a thanks to johnna for letting me know these exist...yet another thing to save for)

5) i should make a kimono robe…kinda like my halloween costume only with softer silk instead of silk brocade and less dramatic sleeves.

me & my halloween costume. i could totally make a less costumey kimono. i even sew-ed it myself (just don't look to close to the seams)!

6) i wish i lived in wonderland

i would marry the Mad Hatter and we'd have outrageous parties

7) i want my canon eos-7D now…i hate saving up for stuff

what i wish was buying instead of brake pads

8) man, i need to clean…like really clean, not the half-assed stuff i’ve been doing

exactly.

 

 

yep.  there ya go.

 

please, please mr. sandman…let me go to sleep tonight at a normal hour…like 11:30pm or midnight.  that’s manageable.  but this 4am stuff has got to stop.  my left eye keeps twitching because it’s tired.  and i’m not a fan of that.

MR. BIX FOR RENT

he’s an energetic, fun-loving dog with big bat ears and a pirate eye patch.  he also enjoys jumping on your book when you’re trying to read, wandering around the bed scratching/shaking his ears because of his perpetual ear infections while you’re trying to fall asleep, and snuggling.  he can sit, tilt his head in  cute way, and puke with absolutely no warning.  he loves a game of fetch and has a knack for jumping on the exact location of any bruise.  he has big googley eyes that are the color of melted chocolate and are great for staring creepily.  especially if it’s 2am and he needs to go outside even though you’ve already taken him outside 3 times before and he refused to “do his business”. 

and i, his loving owner, will let you borrow him for a short period of time.  for free.  yes, kids, i said free.  no money down, no payments.  

i'm cute and adorable! i'm mr bix!

 

“but how would rent-a-bix help me?” you ask.  here’s a few classic ways: 

1) single?  want to meet your soul mate?  try the dog park!  but wait, you don’t have a dog and it’s a little bit pathetic to cruise the dog park without a dog…sad, it looks like someone will be alone forever. 

OR you could rent mr. bix!  take him to the dog park!  he’s cute, he friendly, he’ll help you grab the attention of your soon-to-be significant other!  yay for romantic relationship bliss!! 

2)  scared of robbers or ghosts?  it’s so sad that you live alone and have nothing to deter them.  

OR you could rent mr. bix!  he’s great at barking like a hound from hell.  he’ll scare any robber or ghost right out of your house. 

3)  have kids?  oh no… the tv broke, they’re out of school and imagination land has crashed!  how are you going to keep them entertained?  guess you’re going to have a lot of very bored and cranky kids aaaaaaaall day. 

OR you could rent mr bix!  he loves kids, and kids love chasing around dogs!  bingo-bango-bongo!  problem solved.  added bonus, your kids get a work out and will sleep sounder at night.

 

 

see?  sooooo many different ways that mr bix is helpful!  AND if you rent him today, you just might help him live longer.  because if he keeps me up until 4 am again, i just might hurt him. 

seriously, mr bix? it's 2am on a tuesday...go to bed!

 

  

no, no, not really.  i love mr bix and you can’t really rent him.  well, i take that back.  you could rent him for the day.  but i’ll need him back in like-new condition.  he is my favoritest monster puppy in the world.

NO PAIN, NO GAIN…RIGHT?

that’s how the saying goes.  or so i’ve heard. 

   

welcome to day 3 of my “bringing sexy back” mission.  or, as i currently like to call it, hell. 

   

i’ve been working out with my good friend, Roo (i really should call her Sgt Blood but i’ll stick to Roo…she sounds nicer that way), for the past 2 days…tonight will be the 3rd workout.  i originally was going to work out with my cousin, but our schedules just weren’t lining up.  Roo contacted me after the “BRINGING SEXY BACK” post and said she’d be my work out buddy.  or more precisely, the person who shuts down all of my lame excuses for not wanting to go and motivates me to push myself. 

so far so good.  Roo doesn’t accept my whining.  she has a good grasp of what we need to do.  she pushes herself, which makes the competitive side of me want to keep up.  and she’s great company.  added bonus, her apt’s gym has a sauna…thank you, Finland, for inventing the modern-day wooden saunas.  and all of the other cultures who thought of the original idea.  you’re my heros.  *blog high five* 

   

now if only my muscles could be as excited as i am about all of this. 

currently, they are protesting like a teenager who’s been grounded on the night of a big party.  they’ve said “i hate you”, they’ve said “you’re the cruelest person i know!”, a dash of “i wish abby’s parents would adopt me!”, and other hateful things that teenagers say to try to get their way. 

   

seriously, they need to get over it.  i’ve had much much worse work outs (hello, field hockey practices were a bitch.  a seriously evil bitch.  and swim practice, yeesh…don’t even want to go there)…granted i was a good 10 years younger.  wow.  zack morris time-out for a brief freak out about my age.  wait for it…wait for it…ok, i’m back.  i love being 26.  it’s the best age ever.  right?  right. 

   

but no pain, no gain.  or so i’ve heard.  i’m not giving up…so the muscles can just dial it down.  i’m not over working them, i’ve paid attention to my limit.  they just need to get used to working out before porch chillin time and that’s that. 

but until that happens, i think i’m going to get a sled and train mr bix to drag me around.  because my quads hate me the most right now. 

mush, mr bix! mush!

 

verdict?  it’s a draw.  point to ‘010 for me being out of shape and therefore having sore muscles that make walking a bitch.  point to me for not giving up.

A HUG DEFICIENCY

eep.  i just tallied how many hugs pics i have completed and how many i have left to go.  several charming people have mentioned that i’m behind the hug curve, but doing the math really drove it home.  here, i’ll share…

my daily average needs to be 5.5 per day….let’s round it up to 6.

today is the 58th day of the year.

so i should be at 319 hugs by now.

so far i have 169 hugs (17 have yet to be posted on FB).

i am short 150 hugs.

man o man, i really need to step up my game.  in a big bad way.  luckily i am going to T town for lil M’s bday extravaganza.  i think i can put a real dent in the 150 hugs…heck, if my camera will stay charged i think i could accomplish 150 hugs.  we are returning to sutures, which is a fantastic.  i absolutely love that place (keep your fingers crossed that i have another $13 tab!!).  there will be a gathering of my favorite tulsa-ites, not to mention several of my favorite okc kids making the trek up north.  and once i have a few alcoholic beverages in my system, i have no problem asking strangers for hugs.  yeah, i think i can get 150 hugs.  easy breezy.

  

but that will just get me to where i need to be.  i need a better strategy for this whole project. 

instead of looking at it daily, i’m going to look at it weekly.  during the week i’m all work-zombified and snapping hug pics doesn’t even register in my pea-brain.  if i look at the week as a whole, i have to get 42 hugs a week.  that’s simple enough.  i can get that done on the weekend…anything extra is just gravy.

 

mr bix says "be a cool kid like me, give my mom a hug!"

another thought…what about a HUG BENEFIT? 

it’ll cost you nothing, just a friendly embrace that’s documented on jpeg.  it’d benefit project 2,010 hugs in 2010.  not to mention it’d be a big victory to me over the sneaky sneak ‘010.

here’s how it would work…i’ll pick a neat location.  i’m thinking on a sunday.  and i’ll stay there for a period of time, probably 2 hours or so.  most likely early afternoon… that way people have time for brunch and whatnot.  then i’ll let everyone know where and when i’ll be (in advance, of course). 

then, if you want to donate a hug picture for the 2,010 hugs in 2010 all you have to do is show up.  you can bring whoever you want to hug.  or if you just want to hug lil ole me, i’m more than happy to oblige.  

after the hug picture has been taken, you can mosey on or stay and kick it with me.

it’d be nice to mix up the people in the pics (not that i don’t love my stone-cold solid homies that have let me snap many a hug pictures…you guys rock and i appreciate each and every hug!!).  and it’d be cool to reconnect with people that i don’t talk to as frequently.

 

SURVEY TIME!!

so, dear readers…all 5 of you wonderful people…what do you think?  would you attend the hug benefit if i set it up?  let me know your thoughts and opinions…