so last night was fun. hung out by the pool with the friends, played cards, sipped on some delish adult beverages. and, well, it’s been a pretty rough week. so i (unfortunately) drank a little more than was wise. ok, quite a bit more than was wise.
the good thing is that everyone was at my house, so i could sip away without having to figure out how my drunk ass was going to get home. but the bad thing is that i didn’t go right to bed when everyone left. oh no, dear friends.
two inventions need to happen. seriously, someone needs to make them happen. right now.
the first is a freakin breathalyzer for all modes of communication. that way, when i get the drunkenly “awesome” aka HORRIBLE idea to text/email someone (especially someone who i should NOT be texting or emailing), the smarter-than-drunk-meredith device will say “no no no, meredith. that is a horrible idea and you are not allowed. in fact, drink some water, eat a little something and sober up fer cryin out loud…you’re a hot mess.”
the second is a time machine. so i can go back in time and NOT send the stupid drunken email that i sent. instead, i’d drink some water, eat a little something and sober up fer cryin out loud.
yep, as you might have guessed, i wrote a ridiculously stupid email last night. to someone who i should not have. i read it this morning in absolute horror. i am so utterly embarrassed that i wish i could hide under the blankets. and, of course, i have been obsessing over it all day. re-reading it, and thinking that i am the dumbest person ever.
but, i must admit that i am a little impressed with drunk me’s craftiness.
sober me had the foresight to delete the number, delete all texts and call logs, and make sure that there were no bills with call detail layin around. sober meredith knows that drunk meredith is a horrible horrible drunk dialer. so i thought i was safe from this embarrassment.
but drunk meredith said “hey, i got the internet now!” i somehow managed to turn on the damn computer, thankfully not break it, whip up a nice little email, and click the ‘send’ button.
faaaaaaantastic. fan freaking tastic.
oh! and the best part is that i used these big words, so on the surface it looks like i’m coherent and making sense. and then you string those words together and it barely, juuuuuust barely makes sense. and i used the word ‘wonky’.
i am an idiot.
and i am definitely not drinking in mass quantity for a looooooooong long time.