the best thing about spring is that it’s finally warm enough to sit outside on the porch. i am a huge fan of hanging out on great porches. especially KK’s. her porch is possibly one of the best porches in the world.
we try to gather over at KK’s at least once a week (well, i’m there way more than that. it’s my 2nd home). we eat dinner, have a few drinks, and talk about what’s going on in our lives. it’s a nice weekly ritual that help keeps me sane.
last night, we decided to mix it up a little bit and play farkle. which was very brave of them to play a game with me. why? oh, my friend, for many many reasons. first, i cheat. i do. i will be open and honest about that fact with you. if i see a way to cheat, i will. and i’m sneaky about it too. just a word to the wise, don’t ever play monopoly with me. if you do, never ever EVER let me be the banker. i will steal $20s and $100s all day long. secondly, i am a horrible loser. if i’m not winning, i’m pissed and instantly decide that i hate the game. thirdly, i am a horrible winner. i will rub your face in the fact that i won and you lost. i will gloat. and finally, i talk shit the whole time we’re playing. so there you have it. i am an extremely competitive, cheating jackass with poor sportsmanship. but they decided to take the chance.
if you haven’t ever played farkle, you should. it’s a super fun dice game. here’s how you play. i even have snazzy pictures that demonstrate it. you will need: 6 dice, a flat surface, paper (for keeping score), and a writing utensil (so you can write down the score).
1) do your lucky ritual
2) shake them dice up!
3) roll them dice out!
After each throw, one or more scoring dice must be set aside (see sections on scoring below). The player may then either end their turn and bank the score accumulated so far, or continue to throw the remaining dice. If the player has scored all six dice, they have “hot dice” and may continue their turn with a new throw of all six dice, adding to the score they have already accumulated.
4) count it out and add ’em up!
to get “on the board”, you must have at least 500. here’s the rest of the scoring.
Dice Combination Score Each 1 100 Each 5 50 Three 1s 1000 Three 2s 200 Three 3s 300 Three 4s 400 Three 5s 500 Three 6s 600 Three pair (e.g., 1-1-4-4-6-6) is scored as 1500. A straight (1-2-3-4-5-6) is also scored as 1500.
but if you don’t roll anything that counts, you Farkle. which means you lose all of the points that you’ve accumulated during your turn.
when you farkle, i like to call it farklenuts. it’s a ridiculously fun word to say. and it sounds really gross. give it a whirl…see? ridiculously fun.
my mom would be so proud. i wasn’t that bad of a sport. and i only cheated once (they didn’t catch me and i felt kinda guilty, so that’s why i’m coming clean).
Gordy was the big winner. KK came in 2nd. and me? well…i won in my mind. just not in reality.