that pretty much sums up how i’ve been feeling the past 2 days. just. ugh.
one moment, i’m all rainbows & unicorns. super high energy and ready to conquer the world. i’m ready to take on all the big bad challenges and show them how much better it would be if they were nice happy friends. i’m like “hey, big bad challenge! you should be nice! then you’ll be a fluffy cotton candy cloud. you can live next to the rainbow and be bestest buddies! wouldn’t that be swell?” and the big bad challenge is like “word. that would be marvelous…and it’s prime real estate in magical happy land!”
see? isn’t that just freakin delightful? and for the most part, this is how i’ve been feeling lately.
however, in the blink of an eye, i can turn into a snapping turtle. ready to bite anyone who gets near me. i’m tired, i’m cranky, and if you aren’t pickin up what i’m puttin down…well, alls i’m sayin is watch out. snapping turtle me has zero patience. zero tolerance. and a lot of snapping things to say.
which, unfortunately, i have been saying to my close friends & mostly my family. why? because i know they’ll love me even if i’m a huge raging bitch. to those of you that i have snapped at: i’m really very sorry.
i have been giving myself whiplash with all these mood swings.
and before you ask, no. i am not getting a visit from aunt flow.
i know what’s going on. first, i’m catching up on all the sleep i didn’t get while in austin. and i need sleep. i am a 10hr a night sleep needer. 8 hrs just doesn’t cut it. and yet, 6-7 hrs is what i’ve been averaging. so lack of sleep is one of the factors. the 2nd, and main thing, is that i am just frustrated with people not acting like freakin grown-ups. there are several specific things that have led to this frustration, but for once i will keep it to myself and allow my subconscious to work through it.
oh, hell, here’s a little rant about it. and for those of you reading, don’t worry. it is not directed at you, i promise. it is not directed towards anyone that i love, adore, or am friends with. scouts honor.
*ah, hem*…let me get up on my soapbox for a second…
i will totally admit that i am not 100% awesome all the time. i make mistakes… i don’t budget or have a ton in savings, sometimes i stay out until 3am, and lord knows i need to keep my house more tidy. but i own my responsibilities. and i own it when i fuck up. why? because i’m freakin 26 and an adult. and that’s what you do. i’m sick and tired of dealing with people who are older than i am, but refuse to acknowledge their responsibilities. who push it all onto someone else. instead of saying “yeah, i messed up. here’s how i’m going to make it better”, they point their finger the other direction and place the blame on someone else. seriously?! seriously. if you want to enjoy all of the perks of being an adult, then you have to accept the responsibilities that come along with it. otherwise, you’re just an over grown child wasting my damn time & making life difficult for those around you. grow up. be a freakin adult. get your shit together.
whew…i’m done. i am stepping off of my soap box and promise not to return for a few days.
in other news, i have accomplished 2 days of not eating out. saturday, it was a close call. on the drive out to clinton america, my cousin and i were both starving. he stopped at taco bueno to get some grub. i did not order anything. as he exited the drive thru and the yummy wafts of chicken quesadillas hit my nostrils, i wasthisclose to making him turn the truck around. you’ll be proud to know that i did not. i really really wanted to. but i can’t fail at the challenge on the 1st day! that’s just ridiculous. so i gathered up all of my willpower and pretended that my water was really a coca-cola classic.