question number one: why is it socially unacceptable to drink at work? or before the “5pm” mark, for that matter?
yeah yeah, that was two questions. whatever. i’ve had a no good, very bad day.
but it would’ve been so much better if i could’ve had a nice glass of crown on the rocks.
scratch that…today deserves a giant fish bowl drink that i could just shove my whole face in and gulped down. kinda like “bobbing for apples” only it’d be “bobbing for booze”.
and that leads me to question number 2: why can’t life be like my favorite book?
every night, before i go to bed, i read for at least 30 min. it’s how i relax and wind down before sleepy time. i read a little bit of everything. from smart kid “aren’t i so hip” books to cheesy romance novels. but my most favoritest of authors is Robert Heinlein. i love his work so much that i went on a “reading quest” where i tried to read all of his novels (i think i lack only 4 of them).
and right now i’m reading one of his novels, my favorite is The Number of The Beast.
one of my good friends val gave me a copy in like 7th grade and i have read and re-read it at least 15 times. the book is dog-eared, the spine is broken, and the cover is starting to come off. it is a well-loved novel. a beloved friend.
and on days like this, i wish i could literally crawl into that book and live there. i want to be Dr Dejah Thoris Burroughs Carter…a statuesque, strawberry-blonde genius. she’s got plenty of personality. she doesn’t take crap from anyone and is able to still maintain a sweet disposition (on a good day, i can do that). she’s deadly with or without a weapon (i couldn’t defend myself against a fly with a sledgehammer). she is literally a genius (tooootally not me. especially today…i am feeling very very dumb. and worthless. pity party, table for one!). added bonus, she’s married to the uber awesome and dreamy Zebadiah John Carter (uber awesome and dreamy guys don’t exist in real life).
and if i was Deety (her nickname, duh), i’d do computer programming in my head because i’m a super genius. and i’d get to explore different universes…like ones where you can live on mars. and wonderland. and bestest of all…the land of Oz! i’d get to meet tik-tok, glenda the good, the tin-man, the hungry tiger and the cowardly lion!
not to mention that i’d then get to meet Heinlein’s main character, Lazarus Long, and all of his family. and then get to time travel.
why can’t i live there? pretty please, with sugar on top?!
please Mr. Heinlein..pretty pretty please…i’ve been a faithful fan for many a years!
just until this horrible, no good very bad day is over? or at least until i can go over to KKs and drown my sorrows and feelings of work-related inadequacies in a giant vat of vodka or crown?
tomorrow, i’ll woman-up and conquer the world. i promise. i’ll go out and solve the world’s problems and all that jazz.
but that’s tomorrow.