Merry Merry Quite Contrary how does the story go?




so for those of you who do not already know, a few months ago i joined in an effort to broaden the dating pool.  it has been a very interesting experience.  for a while, i’ve struggled with finding a way to describe it… and last night i had an epiphany moment.

online dating is like going to eat dim sum.


for those of you who have never had dim sum (you should really try it.  it is a unique dining experience) i’ll give you a brief (or as brief as i can be) explanation.  instead of having a menu, waiters walk around the restaurant with trays of food.  the dishes are smaller in proportion (groups of 2 or 3) and you get to choose which ones you want.  essentially, it’s a meal of appetizers that you pick and choose throughout the sitting.  some dishes are instantly appealing (pot stickers, tiny coconut tarts), others look a little odd but are still tasty (shrimp shaomai, char siu baau), while others look just downright scary (chicken feet anyone?).  if you haven’t tried an item, it can be hit or miss (normally it’s good, in my opinion).

here’s a pic of it that i found online…

so how does all of that tie into online dating? well my friends, i will tell you how.

when you sign up, you’re able to browse different peoples’ profiles (like how you get to scope out the different dishes the waiters bring by).  some of the profiles are instantly appealing (like the coconut tart), others look ok but require a bit more inspection (like the shrimp shaomai), and then there are some that are downright creepy and gross (like the chicken feet)

*side tangent alert*

the majority of the guys may be decent, however they don’t know how to pick good pictures!  in mine, i am looking cute and sassy.  but yours?  it leaves something to be desired.  i don’t want to see a picture of you with a girl, or with a girl barely cropped out.  nor do i want to see a creepy “taken with the my camera phone while i am looking in the mirror”.  one guy that “winked” at me had a picture of him staring vacantly at a t.v. with trash piled up beside him.  classy, dude, really classy.  that really makes me want to go on a hot date and make-out with you.  ew. ew. ew.  so for all you fellas out there, let one of your female friends choose your picture.  you will be way more successful, i promise.


ok, back to the online dating.  so you see a guy that is interesting.  next step is to view his profile…it’s sort of like an appetizer…a small sampling of who this person is (or claims to be).  if you’re interested, then you send a “wink”.  although i wish they called it a “high five”, i’m not 80 yrs old…our generation doesn’t wink…i don’t think i’ve ever winked at anyone except for in jest.  oh well.  back on track.  so you wink, and they may wink or they may email.  then you chit chat, get to know each other a little bit better.  if things are going well, then it progresses to texting or talking on the phone.  finally, if that goes well then you move on to an actual date.


which is the reason i’m bringing all of this up.  i have a date tonight.  we’ve winked, we’ve emailed, we’ve chatted over the phone, and now it’s date time.  he seems interesting…he’s a scientist, which is cool.  and he cage-fights, which is interesting.  especially when put together.  what exactly is a cage-fighting scientist like?  he seems well spoken and intelligent, which is a good thing.  we are going on a “romantic date for beer at a dive bar”.

which is actually right up my alley.  i love nothing more than a good dive bar.  and while it’s not the most glamorous of locations, i think it is a great place for a first date.  i mean, i don’t have to worry about things like “what do i order on the menu?  i don’t want to be a dick and order something expensive if he plans on buying”.  i mean, beer is like $3, $5 each tops.  and awkward silence?  there’s normally pool or darts or the jukebox to help keep those to a minimum.  plus, 1st dates are nerve-wracking enough…i don’t need the added pressure of trying to figure out how casual/dressy the restaurant requires.  at a dive bars, i can throw on a cute but casual dress & boots and be perfect.


so wish me luck on the date with The Scientist.  it will be interesting. 

p.s. vote!